You Are a Friend

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- Welcome to Crossroads.

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I'm Andy and Crossroads is a church that

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you can be a part of no matter where you live

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or what you believe about God.

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Also importantly, it's Veteran's Day weekend,

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so I want to give a special thank you

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to all of our veterans who've served our country

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past and present. We thank you for your service.

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At Crossroads, we believe that we're all made

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for a life of adventure with God,

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and we want to help you on your journey.

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If at any time in today's episode you have questions,

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just chat with us by clicking the chat button

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in the lower right hand corner of your screen

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or the upper right corner if you're watching

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in the Crossroads Anywhere app.

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In just a few minutes,

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we're going to do something called communion,

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and this is a time for people who follow Jesus

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to remember the sacrifice that He made for us.

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Jesus tells us in the Bible to do this

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and to remember Him often.

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If you want to participate with us,

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which I hope that you do,

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you'll need to grab something to eat,

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like a cracker or bread,

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and something to drink like coffee, juice or wine.

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Before we do that, we're going

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to start our time with worship.

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Now we use these songs as a way to connect with God

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and tell Him that we want to know Him more in our lives.

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Let's get started right now.

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Sing these words with me.

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A broken string never stopped nobody, right?

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Come on, sing this out.

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Because I got the words wrong,

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because I just got the words wrong.

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And I wrote these dang words,

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but you can still get them wrong.

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How about we go now?

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- The words in these songs help us to remember

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the sacrifice that Jesus made for us.

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In the Bible, Jesus gathers His disciples

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together for the Passover meal the night before

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He was going to be arrested and killed.

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At the meal, He breaks bread and He drinks wine,

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representing the sacrifice of His body and His blood.

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In Luke 22:19 Jesus says:

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Do this in remembrance of Me.

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Now followers of Jesus have done this for centuries,

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since the time of Jesus, through the early church

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and all the way to today.

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The frequency, the methods and traditions

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may have changed and evolved,

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but the reason is still the same.

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We remember and celebrate the sacrifice

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of Jesus blood and body because it means

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a life of freedom for you and me.

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So if you're a follower of Jesus,

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grab something to eat and something to drink.

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You can pause the video if you need to,

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but when you're ready, let's continue together.

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Luke 22:19 and 20 says:

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Take and eat.

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Take and drink.

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God, I'm thankful for the gift that communion is,

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for the gift of Your body and Your blood,

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of You living a life that I couldn't live

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so that I and we can experience

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fresh freedom and fresh life. Amen.

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Man, I love that we can be one church

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all over the country, all over in the globe,

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taking communion together.

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We're a church made up of all kinds of people

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all over the place, all different walks of life.

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Actually, this past week I was driving downtown

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and there was a guy sitting at the stoplight

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with a cardboard sign.

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I pulled over to chat with him

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and offer him just a couple of granola bars

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that I had on me.

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And he saw a Crossroads sweatshirt that I was wearing.

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He was like, "Crossroads, I go to Crossroads.

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Man, you don't know what that place meant to me

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after my mom passed away."

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And I got to hear a bunch of this guy's story.

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And I was just reminded how cool it is

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to belong to a church and a faith community

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made up of people of all different walks of life.

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And when we give, we're giving the opportunity

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for more people of all different walks of life

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to know Jesus.

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More people are watching the online services,

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downloading the app, and getting connected

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every day because of generous givers.

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Now there's no guilt trip. There's zero obligation.

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But if you want to join the team

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of faithful people that make that possible,

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or just learn more about what Crossroads thinks

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and believes about money,

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you can head to Crossroads.net/give.

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Now, today we're in our series

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called Real Encounters with God,

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where Brian travels to the actual places

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from the Bible and explores what they mean

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for our lives today.

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Now, these episodes were filmed in Israel

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earlier this year before the conflict broke out,

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and our prayers are with the people

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being hurt every day by this conflict.

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And we're praying for peace in that situation,

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just like the Bible tells us to in Psalm 122.

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And we still want to show this series because

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we believe God chose the ancient land of Israel

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and carved His story into the land itself.

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And He has something to say to you

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and to me today through it.

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Let's get started right now.

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- The Story of God told through the land of Israel

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is written in the pages of Scripture

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and carved by the very finger of God into the land itself.

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Join us on a journey to discover your spiritual roots.

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Uncover the six essential elements

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of identity deep within you,

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revealed through the life of King David

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and perfected in the life of Jesus.

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The fourth season of Real Encounters with God: Downline.

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All new on location in Israel.

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New places, new encounters, real encounters with God.

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- All right. This is Real Encounters with God.

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We are here in Israel talking about real people

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who had real encounters, hoping to have one as well.

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And in this season, we're talking about

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this primal DNA, you called it

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the six essential elements of identity.

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Today is friend. Tell us about friend.

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- Well, this is again one of those things

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where David and Jesus, they're sharing

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the same literal DNA,

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but they also have the spiritual DNA,

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see in both their lives of

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a high value of friendships.

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And we actually have that in our life as well.

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That's the reason why we have so much suicides,

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and part of the reason why we have so many,

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so much mental illness today, we are not well.

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And I think we're not well because

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we are lonelier than ever.

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We're out of sync with who we actually are,

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we're created to have friends, to be in community.

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And when you don't see that is who you are

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and you don't align yourself to that,

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there's going to be consequences.

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At least that's what's happening in America.

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- And so you'd say disconnection,

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lack of friendships is going up,

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friendship is going down?

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- Yes, exactly, and therefore mental illness is going up

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and suicide is going up and loneliness

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and all that stuff that comes with it.

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It's not by accident. It's not in the air.

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It's in the way we live our life,

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which is out of sync with our spiritual DNA.

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This is America. Is this happening here in Israel?

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- Unfortunately, it also happens over here.

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Of course, we have the screens.

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We have many children, you know,

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all of us big families in Israel.

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And you see how the way it affects people.

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And it's sad.

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Again, there is good positive things on those screens,

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but there is definitely a hard things.

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And many children today, you see that in the news,

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you see it in other places. They feel rejected,

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they feel that people don't care for them

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and they are eventually there are no friendships,

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true friendships today.

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- I'm always surprised by this.

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It kind of makes sense in America because

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we're founded on this rugged individualism

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and, you know, extreme capitalism,

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like, make something of my life,

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which there's a lot of good things about that.

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That's kind of in American society's DNA.

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But here it's more of that ancient communal culture.

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It's more in your culture's DNA.

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- That's true, I'm sure, and I thank God

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that it's not like in the States.

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- So it's not as bad?

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- No, not as bad, because as you said,

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the family, the structure, the Jewish communities,

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it's different living all together.

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And especially also there is the military service over here.

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And you have guys when they are 18 that

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they join together for three years.

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You know, it's really three years of friendship

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that you learn to trust your friends,

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you spend, you know, the hardest moments of your life

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are together with them,

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also the happiest ones are there.

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So you build friendship that lasts

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actually for the entire life.

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And Jesus, you know He would experience the same thing

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as you know that with His disciples,

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with His group that were around Him.

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We were talking about David and trying to get there,

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you know, to where he would build his friendship.

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And you suggested the Cave of Adullam, right, in the past.

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- Yeah, I think that's good.

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- We were there. We were filming in the past.

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It's a beautiful place. - I love that place.

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- Yeah. And of course,

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there is a lot of friendships that were built there

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between David and his mighty men.

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So we would like to go and see that

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and try to put all those things together.

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- Now, you mentioned something that I've got to say,

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I don't know if most people know,

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and I know Brian is going to talk about this,

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maybe you'll say it, but what is a mighty man?

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Like, what is that?

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You just said, David and his mighty men.

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I don't have any mighty men in my contacts right now,

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so maybe I should if we're talking about friendships.

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What is that?

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- So with friendships, like attracts like.

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So if you're an artist, you're going to attract artists.

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If you're an athlete, you're going to attract athletes.

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That's probably most likely

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the kind of people you're going to have friends.

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David, man, he had all these six identities,

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but the one he was really known for initially

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was that warrior one, right, going against Goliath.

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So the young stud warriors were like,

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"I want to be around David."

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So the mighty men came to be a few dozen people

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that had extreme ability in warfare

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and almost superhuman abilities to run and stuff like that.

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They're a crazy group known as the Mighty Men.

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- Right. So he's got his crew, basically,

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and we see that same thing in the life of Jesus.

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So we're going to Cave of Adullam for David.

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But where do you go to talk about Jesus

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and friendship, what's that about?

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- Okay, we thought about the Upper Room.

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You know, Jesus, in the last night

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before He was crucified, He gathered His team,

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you know, and over there He does --

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- His mighty men, basically His mighty men.

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- This is His mighty men, as you said,

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these are the ones that are closest to Him.

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We know that there were many that were following Him,

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and not just with the thousands,

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but people that were following Him the whole time.

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But there was the close circle of those 12,

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and Jesus is gathering them for that

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what is known as the Passover Supper, the Last Supper.

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And over there He built and He wanted

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them to understand that there is a true friendship.

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It's not only, "I'm your master, I'm your rabbi.

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You know, it's not only that.

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There is much more than that.

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I gave an example, of course, but you are My friends.

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I really see that way, and I see you in that way.

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And I expect you also to treat each other

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as friends, one to the other. Okay?"

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And of course, He goes more than that.

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But we thought that the Upper Room would be

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the right place to talk about Jesus'

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attitude and the friendship

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that He's building with His disciples.

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- Hannah and I head to the Upper Room with Tsuriel,

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where Jesus modeled true friendship to H

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is disciples, while Brian makes his way

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to the cave of Adullam, where David's mighty men

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showed what it looks like to be a real friend.

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- So here we are up on top of Mt. Zion,

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standing on the place which is known as the Upper Room.

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And from up here we can see behind us

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the Mount of Olives.

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This is where Jesus is coming from

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at the last week, Palm Sunday,

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He's walking through that mountain

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all the way down into the city of Jerusalem.

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We can also see where today the Golden Dome is.

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This is where the temple would stand.

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And He spent most of this week inside the temple area

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and around the temple, of course,

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and back and forth when He goes to Bethany

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to stay in His friends house.

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Now at the last night, we find Jesus being up here.

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Okay? We're here now on top of a building

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which is actually from the Crusaders period.

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So it's not what Jesus would actually experience

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as a room, but the location and the church

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was built here at the same location.

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It was destroyed.

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So the Crusaders, they come later on

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and they rebuild the place.

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But they use some of the stones that were there.

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I can't say that this would be the room

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that Jesus would actually see,

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but the location is probably the right location.

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And we find that He spent time over there.

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They are eating what is known as

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the term the Last Supper, which is actually

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the Passover meal that they eat

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just before the feast will start the next day.

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And after being here, then they go back down there

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to the Garden of Gethsemane.

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This is where Jesus is being arrested.

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From there, he's being taken back here

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to Mount Zion, to Caiaphas' house, the high priest.

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From here is being sent to Pontius Pilate,

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and eventually He is sent to where He was crucified.

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- What makes this meal so significant

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is that Jesus knows what's coming next.

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He's about to endure a hellish 18 hours

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walking from the Upper Room

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to the Garden of Gethsemane, where He's arrested.

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Then marched through the night

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to the court of the high priest,

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where He's convicted in a joke of a trial,

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then taken to the local authorities to be beaten

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and humiliated and ultimately crucified

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alongside criminals outside the city walls.

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Jesus was about to make the ultimate sacrifice,

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and still He gives His attention to His friends.

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He serves them, He feeds them a meal.

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And in the face of awful events,

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Jesus is still an incredible friend.

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- So it's a very intensive and long night

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that Jesus is going through that really starts up here.

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We find five chapters in the Gospel of John

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that deal with what we call the Last Supper.

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It's many chapters for just meal, in a sense.

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- That's what a friend does,

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they know He knew His time was coming to a close,

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He knew His time was coming to an end.

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And a friend looks at their friend and is like,

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"Okay, here's what you need to know

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because there's some stuff's about to go down, man."

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What would you say about how Jesus show Himself

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as a friend in the moments,

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maybe even in this location.

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He was doing something none of them expected, right?

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He suddenly washes their feet.

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I mean, imagine -- we don't really understand

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what they thought about Jesus during those 3 years

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because they thought that He is a prophet,

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they thought that He is a rabbi,

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they thought that He is a even sometimes they say

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the Son of God, what does it exactly means?

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I don't think they really understood

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He wasn't dead yet. He wasn't risen yet.

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He wasn't a saint yet. What was it?

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They didn't receive yet the Holy Spirit even.

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So, their understanding about Jesus was confusing.

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Okay? But at the same time they had

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a lot of respect towards Him. Okay?

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And over here, the last thing that I would expect

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of Jesus to do from Jesus is to wash their feet.

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Now, it was a common thing.

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When they would enter somewhere,

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they would actually recline on the floor

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while they are eating on low beds.

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Not like today we sit in a table with chairs and so on.

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So their feet would be one beside the other,

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basically, when you are reclining, you know,

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in like a half round circle almost.

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So normally there would be someone

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that would wash their feet off the rest

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when they enter a house.

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I guess no one did it, and or no one thought of that.

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But definitely Jesus was not the one

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that was supposed to do it in their mind, and He does that.

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And we find also Peter said, "No way.

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You're never going to do that with me."

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In a sense, "I will give you the full respect.

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You shouldn't do that."

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Jesus said, "I'm not going to wash your feet.

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You have no part with me, right?"

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So Peter said, "Give me the full bath."

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Jesus said, "There is no need of that too."

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- He was one extreme or the other.

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- Yeah, yeah, yeah, always you know Peter had to say something.

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But it's a true friendship.

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He teaches them in a way that He is an example.

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He never teach them something, "Okay.

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You have to do something, and I'm just saying."

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He would do first, teach it, you know,

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the best teacher in a sense.

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And then tell them now You've seen me. No excuses.

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You have to do the same thing one to the other."

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So it's a true friend in a sense.

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- If you and I want to follow

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the downline of David and Jesus,

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we have to unlock this primal DNA of friend,

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because that's what Jesus was.

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The people in this Upper Room

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were so much more than just His followers,

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they were His actual friends.

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You know, Jesus made friends everywhere He went.

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If you read between the lines of all of His teachings,

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you'll constantly see Him going to people's houses,

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being invited to dinners.

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In fact, one of the biggest things

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kind of thrown in His face as an accusation

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is that he was a glutton and a drunkard,

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a friend of tax collectors and sinners.

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That'd be like saying, "You there,

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you are somebody people want to be around,

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and you're always going to parties,

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and people always want to hang out with you,

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and you say yes to every invitation, every time."

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Like, that's Jesus.

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People wanted to be around Him.

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He was this amazing, amazing friend.

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And it was on this rooftop of the Upper Room

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where Jesus passed on the secret

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to incredible, powerful, God centered friendships

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to his friends, which includes you and I.

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He said this in John chapter 15:

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It's simple: if you want great friendships,

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you lay down your life for your friends.

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Now for Jesus, the ultimate expression of that

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would happen in just a matter of hours

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from this moment when He goes to the Cross.

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But that wasn't his first time

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laying down His life for His friends.

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He had done it again and again and again.

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This meal I think Jesus paid for the Last Supper. Why?

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Well, because we know His ministry was funded

00:32:49

by donations given to Him, and that that offering

00:32:53

paid for the entire traveling party.

00:32:55

He had bought them many meals before this meal.

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See, if you want to follow in the downline

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of Jesus as friend, you want to begin

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to lay down your life to be

00:33:03

that kind of Christ centered friend,

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you can start by just buying somebody a meal.

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It turns out paying for someone's supper

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can be an incredibly powerful spiritual act.

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From the Upper Room we trace the lineage of Jesus

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back 14 generations to where King David

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experienced true friendship in the Cave of Adullam.

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- It's a good hike right there.

00:34:00

This is the area where David

00:34:03

would have been escaping his enemies.

00:34:06

His enemies at this point are actually Saul

00:34:10

and all of his forces who are trying to take him down.

00:34:13

This region of Israel has always been

00:34:15

sort of the border area.

00:34:17

When I came up right back down there,

00:34:19

you can see a paved road that's lined with barbed wire

00:34:22

because that's the West Bank,

00:34:24

very well known across our world,

00:34:27

conflict there all the time with tension.

00:34:30

This is also the same place where there was

00:34:32

a border with the Philistines

00:34:35

who were their arch enemies.

00:34:37

Conflict is here.

00:34:38

How do we get through conflict?

00:34:40

What is the one of the ways that we endure

00:34:42

so much of the difficulty in life?

00:34:44

The answer is our friends.

00:34:47

David has a son later on who he passes the kingship on to,

00:34:51

and his son Solomon is known as

00:34:54

the wisest person in the earth.

00:34:55

And here's what Solomon says about friendships.

00:34:59

Proverbs 18:24:

00:35:07

We have a lot of people in our lives who we know

00:35:10

who are acquaintances, a lot of people we know

00:35:14

who are maybe drinking buddies,

00:35:15

a lot of people we know who are

00:35:17

friends with us on social media,

00:35:19

but very few of us have people who will

00:35:22

stick closer to us than a brother or a sister.

00:35:25

It's a massive, massive problem in our culture.

00:35:29

In 1990, studies showed that 3% of Americans had no friends.

00:35:36

In 2021, the stats were 12% of Americans had no friends.

00:35:41

That's a 400% increase, not good.

00:35:46

For those of us who have ten or more friends,

00:35:48

in 1990,

00:35:49

that was 33% of Americans had ten or more friends.

00:35:52

2021 it's 13%, down, down, down.

00:35:57

We are not doing well.

00:35:59

Our culture isn't organized and orchestrated

00:36:03

to tap into this need we have inside

00:36:06

of having deep, abiding friendships.

00:36:09

It's actually a spiritual discipline

00:36:10

and you and I are created for it.

00:36:12

It's in our primal DNA.

00:36:14

Things that helped us in American culture long ago

00:36:18

are pretty much gone.

00:36:19

Softball leagues gone, bowling leagues gone.

00:36:23

I know there's some exceptions, but for the most part, gone.

00:36:25

My parents and my mom used to be in bridge clubs.

00:36:29

Those are gone.

00:36:30

There were fraternal organizations,

00:36:33

like the Elks Club. They're gone.

00:36:36

They don't exist anymore.

00:36:38

And as these things have been stripped away from us,

00:36:41

so have the common ground for building friendships

00:36:45

been stripped away from us.

00:36:47

Friends do things together.

00:36:49

We hang together. We experience life together.

00:36:53

Speaking of the Elks, some of my closest friends

00:36:56

I go elk hunting with.

00:36:57

Actually, we say it's not elk hunting, it's elk hiking

00:37:00

because we never see a freaking elk.

00:37:02

We go on public land. We've never see

00:37:04

one, but yet we keep doing it year after year.

00:37:07

That's because when we do,

00:37:09

we are encountering life with each other.

00:37:11

We're laughing with one another.

00:37:12

We're sweating with one another.

00:37:14

We're freezing with one another.

00:37:15

We're camping with one another.

00:37:17

We realize we're getting something

00:37:18

out of the friendships that are going to be

00:37:21

of unsurpassable value, even if we never

00:37:24

actually get any elk free meat inside of the freezer.

00:37:29

This means that we've been very unhealthy as a culture.

00:37:34

This is why mental illness, I believe,

00:37:36

has gone way, way up.

00:37:38

It's a loneliness epidemic that has awful, awful consequences.

00:37:42

One study I saw shows that

00:37:44

if you don't have any close friendships,

00:37:48

the health consequences are equal

00:37:50

to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

00:37:54

Another way to say that is if you've got

00:37:56

healthy relationships, maybe you can

00:37:58

smoke 15 cigarettes a day and be in the clear.

00:38:00

I don't know how far you want to take this,

00:38:01

but this is a big, big deal.

00:38:03

I am an actual -- I'm a tobacco user of various forms,

00:38:06

and I think it's a really good thing

00:38:08

that our our country has sounded the alarm bells

00:38:11

saying, "Hey, danger here. Be very careful.

00:38:13

Danger, danger, danger."

00:38:15

I think we've done pretty well in that as a country,

00:38:17

I think it's good news.

00:38:18

I would just call on us to do the same thing

00:38:21

as it relates to friendships.

00:38:22

Hey, I'm ringing the bell right now.

00:38:24

Danger, danger, danger.

00:38:25

If you don't have close friendships,

00:38:28

you are not going to be healthy, mentally healthy,

00:38:31

spiritually healthy, and physically healthy.

00:38:34

This is a necessity.

00:38:36

David has these kind of relationships.

00:38:40

His closest friendship is with Jonathan.

00:38:44

Here's how that is described. 1 Samuel 18:3:

00:38:56

Jonathan is the son of Saul, the current king,

00:38:59

who should be next in line for the kingship.

00:39:02

But Jonathan realizes that David's the guy.

00:39:04

And they have this tight bond where

00:39:07

Jonathan supports him and David supports Jonathan.

00:39:10

It's actually referred to as covenantal.

00:39:13

It's covenantal. I love that.

00:39:15

Friendships are not transactional,

00:39:18

they're covenantal.

00:39:19

It's not I scratch your back. You scratch my back.

00:39:22

It's not quid pro quo.

00:39:24

It's I am committed to you,

00:39:26

even if you never do anything for me.

00:39:29

Friends are great to help out with one another, right?

00:39:31

Like, we help each other move.

00:39:34

That's always a big deal, helping somebody move.

00:39:36

But a great friend won't only just help you move apartments,

00:39:39

a great friend will help you move a body.

00:39:42

That's a covenantal friendship.

00:39:45

But their friendship goes beyond helping each other.

00:39:48

It's deep. It's wedded. It's in their DNA.

00:39:51

Here's one of the ways it's described

00:39:54

in the book of 2 Samuel 1:26 says:

00:40:07

This verse has understandably caused many people

00:40:12

to infer that David and Jonathan

00:40:16

had a same sex love affair,

00:40:18

that perhaps Jonathan was gay

00:40:21

and that David was bisexual

00:40:23

because obviously he was with women as well.

00:40:26

Well, I think this is understandable

00:40:28

that we would come to this conclusion

00:40:30

based on the wording in this verse.

00:40:32

I think it's really indicting of our culture

00:40:34

that we don't understand male friendship

00:40:37

unless it's sexual in nature.

00:40:40

We have become so lost to the narrative of personal pleasure,

00:40:44

my personal sexual gratification,

00:40:46

just being covered away, carried away by all that I feel

00:40:49

we can't see deep friendship

00:40:51

when it's presented to us in the Bible.

00:40:53

There is a kind of friendship

00:40:55

a woman can have with a woman

00:40:57

that she can't have with a man.

00:40:58

There's a kind of friendship a man can have with a man

00:41:01

that he can't have with a woman.

00:41:04

I hear many people who are married say

00:41:05

that my spouse is my best friend.

00:41:08

I'm a little uncomfortable with that. Let me tell you why.

00:41:11

First of all, in previous generations in America,

00:41:14

if you kind of read the literature,

00:41:16

people didn't refer to their spouse as best friend

00:41:19

as we do often right now.

00:41:21

I think what we're actually saying right now

00:41:23

is my spouse is probably my only friend,

00:41:27

the only friend I have.

00:41:29

I also am uncomfortable referring to Lib and I

00:41:32

as best friends because we're more than that.

00:41:34

We're married. We're actually one flesh.

00:41:37

That's a much deeper thing than actually being a friend.

00:41:40

And there are things that I deal with

00:41:43

and struggle with that she'll never understand.

00:41:45

And in that way, my love of my male friends

00:41:49

surpasses my love for her.

00:41:51

Not that I love her more or them more than my wife,

00:41:54

but it's a kind of love, a kind of empathy,

00:41:58

a kind of understanding that she won't be able to understand.

00:42:01

I am like many men, I am drawn to pornography.

00:42:05

I am very visually stimulated.

00:42:07

It is a fight to not do that.

00:42:09

And I've done pornography more recently than I care to admit.

00:42:12

And when I share that with my wife,

00:42:14

she is understandably hurt, understandably confused.

00:42:18

I get that. She should be.

00:42:21

When I share that with my male friends,

00:42:23

it's like, "I get it, I got it.

00:42:26

How can I help? What can we do together?"

00:42:27

They understand that.

00:42:29

When I talk with a friend of mine

00:42:31

who may be a pastor of a church

00:42:33

that has a large staff,

00:42:35

they can inherently understand my struggles

00:42:38

in ways that Lib won't be able to understand.

00:42:41

There's things that her friends will understand

00:42:43

about her that I try to understand.

00:42:45

I'm trying to get in her shoes,

00:42:48

but I just will never get there

00:42:49

as well as some of her other friends do.

00:42:51

This is the beauty of David and Jonathan's friendship.

00:42:54

They're both Jews.

00:42:56

They're both warriors, hardcore warriors.

00:42:59

They get each other, they go forward.

00:43:02

They're in a covenantal relationship with one another

00:43:05

where they're saying, "No matter what happens around us,

00:43:07

dude, I'm here for you. I'm here for you.

00:43:10

I'm with you. I will die for you.

00:43:12

I'll die by your side."

00:43:14

These are the kind of friendships

00:43:16

that you and I were wired for,

00:43:17

the kind of friendships that we need,

00:43:19

and you actually were born to be able to have.

00:43:22

It's actually in your DNA.

00:43:23

I know there's not a person who's listening

00:43:25

to this description who isn't saying,

00:43:27

"Oh boy, that would be awesome.

00:43:28

I would love that. I need to be that way."

00:43:31

That's because your DNA is crying out to you

00:43:33

saying, "This is actually who you are."

00:43:35

We just need to dust it off and put it into action.

00:43:39

David doesn't just have a close friendship

00:43:41

with Jonathan, with a bunch of guys

00:43:43

known as the mighty men who come to him

00:43:47

in his time of need when he is fleeing Saul

00:43:50

at the Cave of Adullam,

00:43:52

which is where we're on top of right now. Let's go there.

00:44:08

So as David comes up in this area,

00:44:10

he comes up to the Cave of Adullam,

00:44:13

and we're going to go inside that cave right now.

00:44:15

We're not sure if this is the exact opening,

00:44:20

but it is certainly one of the openings

00:44:21

in this region that everyone would have known.

00:44:24

This is where the cave is.

00:44:25

There's a number of these openings right around this,

00:44:27

like, quarter mile square radius or so.

00:44:30

As David is escaping, he needs to amass an army.

00:44:33

He needs to amass people who will help him.

00:44:35

That's part of what friends do, they're your army.

00:44:37

They're the people who actually help you.

00:44:39

And there's about 400 guys who come to be with him

00:44:43

and they say, "Hey, he's up the Cave of Adullam.

00:44:46

Let's meet up there."

00:44:47

Why would these 400 people come to him?

00:44:50

Well, Bible says that they are distressed,

00:44:54

in debt, and depressed.

00:44:58

Why these folks?

00:44:59

Well, these guys, many of them would have been

00:45:02

farmers right here in the area.

00:45:03

Again, this is a border area.

00:45:05

The Philistine nation is right here.

00:45:07

And perhaps they overtook some of their lands,

00:45:09

and those ancient farmers would be like farmers today

00:45:11

or business people today, you have to be capitalized.

00:45:15

You need capital to buy your equipment,

00:45:18

to cover your living expenses before the crops come in.

00:45:22

And so perhaps they're capitalized

00:45:24

and then they lose their lands

00:45:25

and they can't make their debt payments.

00:45:27

So they are not well.

00:45:30

The people who are on David's side in his army

00:45:33

are people who have issues.

00:45:34

That's probably who we're going to have to

00:45:36

be able to choose from in our own world

00:45:38

when we have friends, people who aren't perfect,

00:45:41

people who have rough spots, people who have issues,

00:45:43

because that's pretty much all of us.

00:45:45

The only people who don't have issues

00:45:47

are who we know as deluded.

00:45:50

We all have our issues. We all have our challenges.

00:45:54

Now Jesus had people who He was in deep friendship with.

00:45:58

They were known as His 12 disciples.

00:46:00

And in the 12 disciples, He had an inner ring

00:46:03

of three of them: Peter, James, and John,

00:46:05

who He had the closest friendships with.

00:46:08

I think David is operating in this realm as well.

00:46:11

He's got 400 people who are around him,

00:46:13

but he also has 37 of them, it tells us in 2 Samuel,

00:46:17

who are his mighty men.

00:46:20

These are the folks who identify with him,

00:46:23

who understand his desire to be a warrior.

00:46:26

And inside of this 37, there's a smaller ring as well.

00:46:30

All of our friendships are going to have

00:46:31

different rings to them.

00:46:33

Not all of our friendships are going to be the same.

00:46:35

Let's talk about that more actually inside the cave

00:46:40

where David bonded with his friends.

00:46:53

I love caves. Love them.

00:46:57

There's something about, like, the coolness

00:46:59

of being removed, isolated, safe.

00:47:04

I think maybe this is why David was drawn to the cave.

00:47:07

He kind of felt secure, right?

00:47:09

He was hemmed in.

00:47:10

And he's here with all of his buddies, you know,

00:47:14

like attracts like.

00:47:16

Who you are are the kind of people you're going to attract.

00:47:19

Do you like to read books?

00:47:20

You're going to attract people who like to read books.

00:47:22

Do you like to build things?

00:47:23

You're going to attract people who build things.

00:47:25

Do you like to play cards? You attract people who play cards.

00:47:27

Do you like to ride motorcycles?

00:47:29

You're going to track people like to ride motorcycles.

00:47:31

David attracted people who were warriors.

00:47:34

There was this story, this understanding they all had

00:47:37

that this is the guy when he was a little kid

00:47:40

who killed a giant.

00:47:42

So all the young studs that liked fighting,

00:47:46

they were attracted to David.

00:47:49

This is the background for this story

00:47:52

that's always fascinated me that happened

00:47:54

here in this cave system.

00:47:55

In the book of 2 Samuel 23:15, it says this:

00:48:21

So David is in this cave. He's feeling secure.

00:48:26

But at the same time, there's this whole outside world

00:48:31

that's out there, and he can't have any part of it,

00:48:34

because if he goes out there he's going to get killed.

00:48:36

And he starts thinking about all the things

00:48:38

that he longed to have, all the things

00:48:41

that made his life special.

00:48:44

And he starts thinking about how great

00:48:46

the water out of the specific well is like, oh.

00:48:49

He's just kind of talking with his buddies.

00:48:51

And he just goes like, "Oh, oh, that well,

00:48:54

oh, it's the best water.

00:48:57

What I wouldn't give to have that right now."

00:48:59

He processes that with them.

00:49:02

And his buddies hear this and they circle up,

00:49:06

like, "Hey, you up for adventure?"

00:49:09

"Yeah, I don't know." "Yeah. How about this?

00:49:14

How about we go and we get him that water?"

00:49:17

And someone says, "Dude, there's like,

00:49:20

enemies out there, that's occupied territory.

00:49:23

Like we could get found and killed."

00:49:26

And someone else goes. "I know, that's why it sounds fun."

00:49:30

Again, like attracts like.

00:49:32

The kind of guy as a boy who would say,

00:49:34

"I want to fight a giant" attracts the kind of guys

00:49:37

who say, "Let's go on a mission where we might lose our lives."

00:49:41

And so they sneak through enemy territory,

00:49:44

they get to the well and they carry water back.

00:49:47

We talk about water carriers,

00:49:49

people who do very hard, difficult things.

00:49:51

That's what they do, they carry water.

00:49:53

I mean, it's heavy, it's awkward.

00:49:55

They bring it back, they sneak through

00:49:58

and they come to David and they go, "Here you go.

00:50:03

Here you go. Your wish is our command."

00:50:07

David had wished this.

00:50:09

He actually hadn't said anything to them, though,

00:50:12

and it strikes him, it dawns on him

00:50:15

what his friends have done,

00:50:17

the sacrifice that they've put themselves into,

00:50:22

how they've risked life and limb.

00:50:24

And he gets this water and he's thinking about.

00:50:27

And he goes like this, he goes, "Guys,

00:50:32

this is an amazing sacrifice.

00:50:34

I'm not worthy of this sacrifice,

00:50:36

this kind of sacrifice,

00:50:38

the only person worthy of it is God,"

00:50:40

and he pours this water out.

00:50:48

And he says, "This is God's. This is God's.

00:50:53

I'm going to give Him this offering."

00:50:55

And I can imagine the mighty men at first

00:50:58

they're thinking, "We put our life at risk for you,

00:51:03

and you're not even going to taste it?"

00:51:06

I think they thought that at first.

00:51:08

And then they go, "That's why you're my guy,

00:51:12

right there. Right there."

00:51:14

David says, "I'm not worthy of this kind of sacrifice.

00:51:17

I'm not, but God is worthy of it."

00:51:18

And these guys realize, "That's why we're drawn to you.

00:51:21

It's not just the thrill of adventure

00:51:24

and the risk of life and limb.

00:51:26

You've got a heart for God, and you're going God's way

00:51:29

and we just saw it and that's what we're about, too."

00:51:31

And they have that, gosh, dudes, ladies, man,

00:51:34

I'll tell you what, when you find friends

00:51:37

that you have things in common with,

00:51:40

and the most important thing is a heart for God

00:51:44

and the ways of God, Oh, my goodness,

00:51:46

you are on to something really, really big.

00:51:50

This is what David had.

00:51:52

Fortunately, this is what I have too.

00:52:05

We generally use fires for ambiance,

00:52:07

but back in David's day it was about sustenance,

00:52:11

staying warm, actually cooking yourself some meat.

00:52:19

I've got some really, really great friends

00:52:22

and like attracts like.

00:52:23

We ride bikes together.

00:52:25

We do all kind of things together.

00:52:26

But man, I'll tell you what, you never know

00:52:28

when you're going to actually need your friends.

00:52:30

Several years ago, I got a call that nobody wants to ever have

00:52:34

when I learned that my wife Libby just had a stroke.

00:52:38

I've known people who've had strokes before,

00:52:41

it doesn't end well just about all the time.

00:52:44

It could be ending in a wheelchair,

00:52:46

walker, bedridden, whatever it is.

00:52:49

And I'm thinking our life

00:52:50

is probably permanently changed now.

00:52:52

I rushed to the emergency room.

00:52:54

I looked at my wife. Lib can't -- she can't move.

00:52:57

She can move her eyes around, that's it.

00:52:59

They're going to take her into surgery,

00:53:00

try to pull the blood clot out of her brain.

00:53:03

I put out an APB to all my friends.

00:53:06

"Hey, would you please pray?"

00:53:07

And they said, "What can we do?"

00:53:08

"Nothing. Just pray. Nothing you can do.

00:53:10

You're not doctors. You're not here."

00:53:11

Well, they weren't going to take no for an answer.

00:53:14

They needed to figure out some way to actually be engaged.

00:53:16

Sometimes later, I get a text saying,

00:53:18

"Hey, we're here for you.

00:53:20

We're out in the parking lot, we're praying for you.

00:53:24

And if you can break away,

00:53:26

we've got some beers here for you too."

00:53:29

When I could get away, when it was safe to do so,

00:53:32

I went to the parking lot and there were my buddies.

00:53:34

They were just hanging there,

00:53:36

and we opened my truck tailgate

00:53:38

and they pulled out a cooler and we had a couple beers.

00:53:45

I don't know if you're allowed to have beer

00:53:54

in a public hospital, in the parking lot.

00:53:58

I don't know, and you know what else?

00:53:59

I don't really care.

00:54:01

And my friends didn't care either.

00:54:02

All they cared was, "I got a friend who's hurting,

00:54:05

we need to give him some relief."

00:54:07

And we sat there

00:54:08

and had a couple of the best beers I've ever had.

00:54:12

It wasn't the beer I needed.

00:54:14

I wasn't trying to medicate myself.

00:54:15

They weren't trying to medicate me.

00:54:17

I didn't get a buzz or anything,

00:54:18

but I did get a buzz on the empathy that they showed me.

00:54:21

It's like our brain chemistry was linking together

00:54:25

and they were telling me, "We got you, man.

00:54:28

I want to cover you. We care for you.

00:54:31

We love you. We're with you."

00:54:32

That's the power of friendship.

00:54:35

It's primal inside of us. It's part of our DNA.

00:54:39

That's why Jesus says, "I no longer call you servants,

00:54:45

but friends,

00:54:47

because a servant doesn't know his master's business.

00:54:51

All I've known from the father I've made known to you."

00:54:54

Jesus calls Himself our friend.

00:54:58

What does a friend do?

00:54:59

A friend lays down his life.

00:55:01

A friend puts himself on the line.

00:55:03

That's what Jesus did for us.

00:55:06

That's what David's friends did for David,

00:55:09

getting that water, laying their life down.

00:55:11

Jesus lays his life down for us.

00:55:13

Now we've got to be really careful because

00:55:16

right around now, some of us could start to get bitter.

00:55:18

We could start to go like, "I don't have friends like this.

00:55:21

I don't have anybody bringing me water.

00:55:23

I don't have anybody bringing me a beer.

00:55:25

I'm at the hospital in crisis,

00:55:27

no one's coming and seeing me. Where are they?"

00:55:29

Before we have a pity party for ourselves,

00:55:32

and before we start being critical

00:55:33

of people who aren't doing

00:55:34

what we think that they should be doing.

00:55:36

Let's remember here friendship is not transactional,

00:55:39

it's covenantal.

00:55:41

It's not I do this for you and you do this for me.

00:55:43

It is I'm laying down my life no matter what you do.

00:55:47

That's a covenant.

00:55:48

So before we get upset with somebody else,

00:55:50

we have to ask ourselves the question,

00:55:52

am I being the kind of friend I want to have?

00:55:56

Like attracts like.

00:55:58

If you're laying down your life, serving others,

00:56:01

you have a chance of having somebody else do that for you.

00:56:05

I like meat, I do, I'm a meat eater

00:56:08

and I'm also a meat harvester.

00:56:12

When I kill wild game, whether it be elk

00:56:15

or deer or whatever it is, I like to process it,

00:56:19

and then I like to take it to places like Man Camp,

00:56:22

and I like to give it to people,

00:56:24

people I want to serve.

00:56:25

People who might actually be my current friend,

00:56:27

or maybe people who might be my future friend.

00:56:30

I'm trying to build into others.

00:56:32

That's what a friend does.

00:56:33

What are you doing to build into people who are around you?

00:56:37

How are you telling people they are of value

00:56:40

and they are of worth, and you are worth

00:56:43

laying down your life for them?

00:56:45

If you choose to be the kind of friend that you want

00:56:48

and you choose to enter into

00:56:49

covenantal understanding with people,

00:56:51

get ready, your life is going to go deep.

00:56:54

Jesus had a deep life because He was a friend.

00:56:56

David had a deep life because he was a friend.

00:56:59

You can have a deep life as well,

00:57:01

but not until you become

00:57:03

the friend you actually want to have.

00:57:06

Let me pray for you right now.

00:57:07

God, I pray that You would bless the friendships

00:57:11

or the potential friendships that are with us right now.

00:57:13

I pray that You'd help us to remember

00:57:15

what You've taught us, and help us

00:57:16

to be the friend that You have enabled us to be.

00:57:21

Lord, we just want to be like You.

00:57:23

We want to have unlocked inside of us

00:57:25

who You've already created us to be.

00:57:27

I pray these things according to the name of Jesus.

00:57:31

Amen.

00:57:33

Go be a great friend.

00:57:51

- Hey, thanks for watching.

00:57:52

Like I said earlier, Crossroads is a church

00:57:54

that you can be a part of no matter where you live.

00:57:57

And as a church, when we see a need, we step up to help.

00:58:01

This Thanksgiving and Christmas,

00:58:02

we're helping families have a more meaningful holiday

00:58:05

through the Thanksgiving Food Drive.

00:58:06

Now your box, just like this one, can help ensure

00:58:10

that your neighbors can create memories

00:58:12

over a hot meal this holiday.

00:58:14

We're doing our best

00:58:16

to help with food insecurity this holiday.

00:58:17

Now, if you're near a Crossroads location,

00:58:19

this is the weekend to return these boxes.

00:58:22

And if you're not near a location,

00:58:24

you can sign up by November 14th

00:58:26

and we'll mail you one so that you can fill it

00:58:28

and get it to a family or organization in need

00:58:31

in your neighborhood.

00:58:33

Now we're launching our Christmas Gift Drive,

00:58:35

where we're helping families with incarcerated parents

00:58:37

celebrate Christmas together.

00:58:40

The gifts that we buy will go to the kids

00:58:42

from their parents, and without these gifts,

00:58:44

these kids would not receive a present

00:58:47

from their parents at Christmas.

00:58:48

We want to leave our communities

00:58:50

a better place than when we found them,

00:58:51

and you can be a part of that this holiday season.

00:58:54

Head to Crossroads.net/anywhere to learn more.

00:58:57

Now, next week on Real Encounters with God.

00:59:01

- Next week on Real Encounters with God,

00:59:03

we uncover David as ruler and how God gives all of us

00:59:07

a domain that we are king or queen of

00:59:10

where we need to bring order to chaos.

00:59:13

The six essential identities

00:59:15

God has woven into our primal DNA

00:59:18

are the key to having a life that works.

00:59:20

Don't miss out on discovering your spiritual roots

00:59:23

and unlocking the God given identity of a ruler within you.

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